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Friday, October 16, 2009

EB


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Emotional Breakdown
='/

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. A .

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just to keep me busy



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im just tired being emo all the time.

tried to call a couple of friends to join the sunset chilling sessions. one by one bailing me. im not blaming them. they got stuff to do. Friends to go out with. A girl/guy to go date with. My emo friends are not so emo anymore cuz they have somebody already. Calling the old mates wouldve made me very selfish. they just got back from work and i dont want to make them more tired. Calling the brother from another mother, well, wouldn't be possible. He's getting engaged. They're kinda practically married already. I couldnt bring my other brother. He's in UK. Calling my old brothers? well, i feel out of place at the moment.

Ive been thinking what happened to me last june. and i would never forget what had happened. I know its been 4 months ago. Maybe i should forget what had happened. But when you know its your fault, you'll remember it everyday. That's what i have been going through for the past 4 months. Wake up in the morning, look at the time then i'll start thinking. and yes, its the thing i always thought about. and thats my morning routine. Sad. I know. then i'll be thinking about it the whole day especially when im alone and it will only stop when i go to sleep. The emo part of me would say i wanna die right now but the sane part of me would want to go to sleep everytime i think about it and wake up when i got something else to do. The worst part of me wants to let it all out on everything thats near. "you wont like me if im mad" kinda thing. But i have to keep it inside. I have to.

Im wearing the UBD sharks blue jersey with my blue jeans and my all white North Star superstar shoes! i like how i look right now =)

I miss singapore. i miss going down all the way from orchard road until dhoby ghaut (sp hehe).

Guess what? i just bought a softbox. A softbox is the one macaaaaaaaaaam when you take pictures for your passport, you know the big white box on your left and right and when they take pictures of you, it'll light up. it makes the lighting on the subject a bit softer. hence, awesome portrait pictures!
This saturday, i'll be buying the light stand from a friend. It acts like a tripod for the softbox.
I bought a 5in1 reflector. i dont know how to explain this one but it reflects lights from the sun or flashes. one of the reflector is in gold colour. when you reflect light from it onto your subject, the subject will have a warm tone. something like dat =)

hmmmmmm
I have to invest some money into my photography hobby. melayang duit eh~ but it's for a good thing.

Right now, photography and rugby makes me happy. Running aint so much anymore cuz i practically got no time for it at the moment.
Its kinda like a self-satisfaction thing.
In photography, i really like it when i take awesome pictures. I even kena puji with some of my works. and i love doing portraitures.
In rugby, well, this sounds a bit kambang plang but when i am all geared up, with my west coast australian football shirt and my F30 boots, i feel like i am the fastest on the field. However i am not. but as C.Ronaldo said, if you cant outrun them, side-step them! hahaha and thats just what i did. if you see me on the field, i'll run as fast as i can. but when someone catches up with me, i'll side-step them! how i love doing that!

nway, everytime i hear the Fire Burning song. i cant control myself =P

Kamu ada 30000 pounds? kan pindah skulah ku eh~

I started playing guitar again. Just to keep me busy.

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. A .

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Thursday, October 15, 2009

It hurts...


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...... too much
='/

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. A .

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Just got back


im still tired from the miri trip =/
Miri was awesome man! I was only holiday mood! i mean when im there, i dont have to think about anything. i just have to think about me excluding my rugby mates and the tournament but you know what i mean. =) . It felt like i don't have any responsibilities and i don't have to think about anything else other than enjoying the moment. that's it! enjoying the moment! i truely were!
Wake up in the morning. Play rugby. Got home. Rest. Shopping. Chill outside.
Enjoying the moment indeed.
But when im back in Brunei, i got lotsa stuff to think about. Life. School. Health. Family. Friends. My students. Responsibilities!
i guess it's back to reality.

You know the saying that don't judge a book by its cover. Well, i dont know if it applies here but now i know the other side of people. soooo saya hanya mampu terkidum =)

somebody told me that you can truely know someone when you start living with them. Living for three nights with them is more than enough.You know who your friends are. And at the end of the day, nothing changed except we got closer. I like that.

IMG_1968

Miri was an experience.

so if you wanna know about the other side of a person, bring them to Miri! but don't forget, BAWA AKUUUUU!!! :D

soooooooooooooooo the summary of my trip:

Imperial hotel
Shopping at Imperial and parkson
Rugby Matches
Breakfast, lunch and dinner at KFC
McD's lunch promotion. Tried the big and tasty. Nanti lah try the quarter pounder.
Cherry Berries =) i know you all remembered Charmaine.
New photography friends.
New shoes!
Late night chills.
Late night karoake sessions.

Archery bradaaaaaaa~~ siuk archery ani hahaha tukar sport ku eh! :D

IMG_2027

Chill at Starbucks. How i miss that place.

IMG_2036


I didn't take a lot of pictures. manakan! di miri kali ah. takut ku jalan malam2 bawa camera ku atu haha shouldve brought my digi cam.
but there are some pictures of me from my friends in my FB, so check lah saja sana.

btw, cool ah! :D

IMG_1886

but ada special request for this one to be posted up! :D

IMG_1895

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Apparently ada urang suka rambut ku and ada yang inda suka. Haha. I mean siapa yang mau becerita pasal rambut ku ani. I know siapa yang suka. but yang inda suka atu wah =P well currently, i don't really like my hair cuz its layered! its rebonded cuz kusut ku ari atu. tabal rambut ku atu tp inda ku mau gunting. ku rebonding saja. tapi tuuuuuuuuuu tukang gunting ah, di layer nya. sooooo tepaksa tah ku cemani. biar tia saja. apakan daya. Nasib jua ku bali kasut to make me happy! hahaha

Tadi aku ke UBD talent show. Pasal ramai kawan ku perform lah ah. Next year join ku eh. Its either aku main guitar dragon force - through fire and flames or main acoustic laguuuuu apa saja lah. haha n then buat crew menari. either buat bboy crew atau buat stepping crew. hahaha. Jauh imagination ku masa ani.

oh btw, kenapaaaaaa aku ani kan? macam aku suka pilih the impossible. Tadi atu aku keliru! aiseh! haha. Lets just say i got 3 choices. The impossible, The 50-50 or the possible. Ku piliiiih jua the impossible. haha. Hancus lah semuaaaaaa!!

Im just tired to do anything lah. Wrong timing maybe. or maybe i got no will to do anything anymore. i feel numb after 4 tries. Numb i tell you, NUUUUMB! :P
sometimes i feel like going back to form 3 and 4, where no one actually likes me other than my friends and books :P and most of the time, i dont give a damn about anything =)

Finally met the model =) sooooo it wont be long until im doing the strobing sessions. bah geng strobers ku, GET READY! =P

I have been checking out ebay for camera stuff. hmmmmm... should i invest more in photography? or do i use it to buy games. =S

But aku tebali baju plang kelmarin hahaha i bought 3 shirts and wordings on them were, " I've lost my teddy. can i hug you instead? ", " Coffee, ME or tea? " and " Unregistered boyfriend" wahahahahaha theres one that said " Very bad! boyfriend of the year!" haha shouldve bought that one also =P its been a long time since i bought a new shirt aaaand fit ke badan. baru tah ada urang menuleh! time ku pakai baju labuh2, nada urang menuleh! mata keranjang! :D hahahaha

Had a CB session with the bestfren and some dude haha and eyan also. However, I do miss CB-ing with the old mates. But i know it wont be the same anymore =/

There's still a few chill sessions to go to. maybe i'll just go for it. Shisha sessions with the KB mates. Open houses! yes there are still open houses!

Oh yea, i forgot to do another Chill Session with Me!! For the past few days, the sunsets were pretty awesome! Blue skies with orange/red/white clouds. its a nice time to chill. To my emo friends, just wait for it =)

Talking about friends, i know its in the middle of the month, but to my working friends, bila luuuuuuuuuuuunch?! lama udah inda sama2!!! :D

Chill with the brother from another mother lagi!!! aiyaaaaaaa!! gotta make up lost time eh!

other than that, i gotta stop procrascinating! :D ders a lot of pictures to upload!
and ramai udah tagih2 ni minta taruh arah FB hahaa n i just love making new friends! tp the next time jumpa durg, minta taaaag lagi gambar durang hahaha :D i try my best laaaah!

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. Rugby news .

I think we got 2 more games to go. First one is with the Junior Knights. then with the phytons =)

so this is an invite! to those who are reading this, please come this Saturday at UBD Field C around 4 o'clock. its sharks against the junior knights. watch me play hehehe i'll confirm you again with the match.

Postponed to another date!!

Nanti lawan phytons is on the 1 November. blawan di KB i think. so dat one inda payah kamu dtg lah. dtg plang if kamu mau. After the match, ada BBQ sessions with them plang hehe

i'll confirm about it lagi nanti

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. i'm a sad, sad man .
. AryF .

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Sunday, October 11, 2009

What happened..


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What happened in Miri
stays in Miri
=)

nway, i'll upload nanti pasal miri.. aku enjoy dulu masa ani ehehehehe

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. Dont worry .
. AryF .

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Friday, October 9, 2009

3 more hours


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i'll be in miri soon enuf
to play at the Curtin 7's tourney
wish me luck bebeh!

i'll update as soon as possible! :D

xoxo
wahahahaaha

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. Talk over Vanilla Mocha Latte .
. AryF .

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Friday, October 2, 2009

Don abandons Alice


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I love food but i cant seem to eat much nowadays. even during open houses. maybe theres too much stuff in my mind. maybe i should just stop thinking and eat =P

Anyweh, its half good and half bad plang. its good pasal im getting rid of the unnecessary food intake. its bad cuz probably i dont get much nutritions

tournament is next week. i got to have enough nutritions. some protein shakes maybe??

training for the tourney is awesome. but rather painful hehe

I love rugby because of 2 things ; i got to be in the popular's circle and i can date cheerleaders! hahahaha =D nada deh
okeh2.. its because it makes me do what i do best

People say i like to run away from problems. and ofcourse, that is the worst way to handle things =P but for once in my life, im proud to say that i DO run away from problems!!! :D my position is the blind-side winger! and my job is try to score for the team while dodging and side-stepping the oppositions a.k.a. the problems! hahaha
btw, someone told me to usai myself.. n yes im trying, one by one =)

then when im really stressed out di skulah, kusut plang usul ku tapi aku hold saja. tunggu ada game lawan orang on the field. im sorry to say, durang tia jadi mangsaaaaa~~ :D aku dapat langgar urang atu any way i want.. "provided" that ia pigang bula hehe rugby rules lah

btw, aku jumpa urang kelmarin ani, ia balik2 cakap provided! =D

so okeh this person is my old friend.. batah udah inda ku jumpa ia.. so decided to have a high-tea pasal ia ada this curfew *inside joke* hahaha =P tapi seriously, klu makan sama ia ani, banyaaaaaaaaaaaaak syarat2 nya haha baru ku telarah urang cemani ani haha

Nway, if anyone is free this monday
i'll be at the field at 7.15pm
and there's a match between sharks =)
saja2 lah


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Apparently, as expected, people only knew one side of the story
totally unfair

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It is time
When
Don abandons Alice

. AryF .

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