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im just tired being emo all the time.
tried to call a couple of friends to join the sunset chilling sessions. one by one bailing me. im not blaming them. they got stuff to do. Friends to go out with. A girl/guy to go date with. My emo friends are not so emo anymore cuz they have somebody already. Calling the old mates wouldve made me very selfish. they just got back from work and i dont want to make them more tired. Calling the brother from another mother, well, wouldn't be possible. He's getting engaged. They're kinda practically married already. I couldnt bring my other brother. He's in UK. Calling my old brothers? well, i feel out of place at the moment.
Ive been thinking what happened to me last june. and i would never forget what had happened. I know its been 4 months ago. Maybe i should forget what had happened. But when you know its your fault, you'll remember it everyday. That's what i have been going through for the past 4 months. Wake up in the morning, look at the time then i'll start thinking. and yes, its the thing i always thought about. and thats my morning routine. Sad. I know. then i'll be thinking about it the whole day especially when im alone and it will only stop when i go to sleep. The emo part of me would say i wanna die right now but the sane part of me would want to go to sleep everytime i think about it and wake up when i got something else to do. The worst part of me wants to let it all out on everything thats near. "you wont like me if im mad" kinda thing. But i have to keep it inside. I have to.
Im wearing the UBD sharks blue jersey with my blue jeans and my all white North Star superstar shoes! i like how i look right now =)
I miss singapore. i miss going down all the way from orchard road until dhoby ghaut (sp hehe).
Guess what? i just bought a softbox. A softbox is the one macaaaaaaaaaam when you take pictures for your passport, you know the big white box on your left and right and when they take pictures of you, it'll light up. it makes the lighting on the subject a bit softer. hence, awesome portrait pictures!
This saturday, i'll be buying the light stand from a friend. It acts like a tripod for the softbox.
I bought a 5in1 reflector. i dont know how to explain this one but it reflects lights from the sun or flashes. one of the reflector is in gold colour. when you reflect light from it onto your subject, the subject will have a warm tone. something like dat =)
hmmmmmm
I have to invest some money into my photography hobby. melayang duit eh~ but it's for a good thing.
Right now, photography and rugby makes me happy. Running aint so much anymore cuz i practically got no time for it at the moment.
Its kinda like a self-satisfaction thing.
In photography, i really like it when i take awesome pictures. I even kena puji with some of my works. and i love doing portraitures.
In rugby, well, this sounds a bit kambang plang but when i am all geared up, with my west coast australian football shirt and my F30 boots, i feel like i am the fastest on the field. However i am not. but as C.Ronaldo said, if you cant outrun them, side-step them! hahaha and thats just what i did. if you see me on the field, i'll run as fast as i can. but when someone catches up with me, i'll side-step them! how i love doing that!
nway, everytime i hear the Fire Burning song. i cant control myself =P
Kamu ada 30000 pounds? kan pindah skulah ku eh~
I started playing guitar again. Just to keep me busy.
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